SUBJECT:    Christmas and Unconverted Mates

QUESTION:  My unconverted mate wants to keep Christmas or wants to go to the in-laws to open Christmas gifts.  What should I do here?

ANSWER:

In the household with the unconverted mate, the unconverted mated has just as much right to bring up the children as the converted mate does.  The converted mate, even though male, cannot stop the unconverted mated from doing exactly what the converted mate is doing---teaching the children of their beliefs.

The most important thing for you to consider is keeping harmony in your family and in your marriage.  I would not stop your children from going to the unbelieving in-laws.  The only thing you can do here is to:

1) Be a good example of your beliefs and religion.

2) Explain to your children about your beliefs.  As they grow older, they will be asking why you are not going to the in-laws and/or not keeping Christmas and the other holidays.  Very, nicely and very softly explain that daddy does not believe in these things.

As the children grow, they will see your example and ask more questions.  They will also appreciate your keeping love and harmony in the marriage and family.  At this time in their lives, the MOST important thing for your children is that both you and mom love them and that you and mom love each other dearly.

God will take care of your children's Salvation when the time is right.  Many a family has broken totally apart when the converted mate has laid down the law and insisted that things be done their way.  All the children saw was fighting and turmoil.  Many had to experience a total destruction of the family.

1 Corinthians 7:13-14
13 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.

14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
 

1 Peter 3:1
3:1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any (the husband) obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (conduct) of the wives;

This last verse is saying that if the converted mate has a mate that does not obey (believe) the word, they may be won by the conduct of the converted mate.  In this verse the wife is converted and the husband is not, but the reverse also holds.

Note that it says that the unconverted mate is won by the conduct of and NOT the arguments of or by the insistence of the converted mate.  That conduct is talking about love and harmony of the converted mate.

 
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