1 Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;
2 The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity.
3 Honour widows that are widows indeed.
4 But if any widow have children or nephews, let them learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.
5 Now she that is a widow indeed, and desolate, trusteth in God, and continueth in supplications and prayers night and day.
6 But she that liveth in pleasure is dead while she liveth.
7 And these things give in charge, that they may be blameless.
8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
CHURCH AND FAMILY DUTY
Honour widows who are genuinely in a widow’s destitute position. But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let such children learn to begin by discharging the duties of religion in their own homes; and let them learn to give a return for all that their parents have done for them; for this is the kind of conduct that meets with God’s approval. Now she who is genuinely in the position of a widow, and who is left all alone, has set her hope on God, and night and day she devotes herself to petitions and prayers. But she who lives with voluptuous wantonness is dead even though she is still alive. Pass on these instructions that they may be irreproachable. If anyone fails to provide for his own people, and especially for the members of his own family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
THE Christian Church inherited a fine tradition of charity to those in need. No nation has ever cared more for the needy and the elderly than the Jews. Advice is now given for the care of widows. There may well have been two classes of women here. There were certainly widows who had become widows in the normal way by the death of their husbands. But it was not uncommon in the Gentile world, in certain places, for a man to have more than one wife. When a man became a Christian, he could not go on being a polygamist, and therefore he had to choose which wife he was going to live with. That meant that some wives had to be sent away, and they were clearly in a very unfortunate position. It may be that such women as these were also considered to be widows and were given the support of the Church. Jewish law laid it down that at the time of his marriage a man ought to make provision for his wife, should she become a widow. The very first office-bearers whom the Christian Church appointed had this duty of caring fairly for the widows (Acts 6:1). Ignatius lays it down: ‘Let not widows be neglected. After the Lord be thou their guardian.’ The Apostolic Constitutions direct the bishop: ‘O bishop, be mindful of the needy, both reaching out thy helping hand and making provision for them as the steward of God, distributing the offerings seasonably to every one of them, to the widows, the orphans, the friendless, and those tried with affliction.’ The same book has an interesting and kindly instruction: ‘If anyone receives any service to carry to a widow or poor woman . . . let him give it the same day.’ As the proverb has it, ‘He gives twice who gives quickly’ – and the Church was concerned that those in poverty should not have to remain in need while one of its servants delayed.
It is to be noted that the Church did not propose to assume responsibility for older people whose children were alive and well able to support them. The ancient world was very definite that it was the duty of children to support elderly parents; and, as E. K. Simpson has pointed out in his commentary, ‘A religious profession which falls below the standard of duty recognized by the world is a wretched fraud.’ The Church would never have agreed that its charity should become an excuse for children to evade their responsibility.
The New Testament ethical writers were certain that support of parents was an essential part of Christian duty. It is something to be remembered. We live in a time when even the most sacred duties are pushed on to the state and when we expect, in so many cases, public charity to do what private piety ought to do. As the Pastorals see it, help given to a parent is two things. First, it is an honouring of the recipient. It is the only way in which children can demonstrate the esteem that they feel. Second, it is an admission of the claims of love. It is repaying love received in time of need with love given in time of need; and only with love can love be repaid.
There remains one thing left to say, and to leave it unsaid would be unfair. This passage goes on to lay down certain of the qualities of the people whom the Church is called upon to support. What is true of the Church is true within the family. If a person is to be supported, that person must be supportable. If a parent is taken into the home of a son or daughter and then by inconsiderate conduct causes nothing but trouble, another situation arises. There is a double duty here – the duty of the child to support the parent, and the duty of the parent to behave in such a way that that support is possible within the structure of the home. ~this text from the Barclay Commentary
This verse is primarily in 4 parts
1] But if any widow have children or nephews. Note: Some will separate the word nephews into a fifth part.
2] Let them learn first to shew piety at home.
3] And to requite their parents.
4] For that is good and acceptable before God.
Let us go to the commentaries...
1] But if any widow have children or nephews.
But if any widow have children - Who would be dependent on her care, and who might themselves contribute to her support. ~Barnes Notes
Or nephews - The word nephew now commonly means the son of a brother or sister. Formerly the English word also meant grandchildren, or descendants of any description. Webster. The Greek word here - e?´????a ekgona - has the latter meaning. It denotes those “sprung from or born of;” and then descendants of any kind - sons, daughters, grandchildren. The Greek word would not, in fact, properly include nephews and nieces. It embraces only those in a direct line. ~Barnes Notes
But if any widow have children or nephews - This shows that widows indeed are those that have neither children nor nephews, i.e. no relatives that either will or can help them, or no near relatives alive. ~Adam Clarke
But if any widow have children or nephews - Such are not widows indeed; they are not desolate, or alone, or without persons to take care of them; their children or nephews should, and not suffer the church to be burdened with them. ~John Gill
Nephews — rather, as Greek, “descendants,” or “grandchildren” [Hesychius]. “Nephews” in old English meant “grandchildren." ~Jamieson, Fausset, Brown
Conclusions:
We have two kinds of widows:
1. Widows indeed. No relatives.
2. Widows. They have relatives in direct blood line, such as children and grandchildren.
2] Let them learn first to shew piety at home.
Let them learn first to show piety at home - Margin, “or kindness.” That is, let the children and grandchildren learn to do this. Let them have an opportunity of performing their duty toward their aged parent or grandparent. Do not receive such a widow among the poor and dependent females of the church, to be maintained at public expense, but let her children support her. Thus they will have an opportunity of evincing Christian kindness, and of requiting her for her care. This the apostle calls “showing piety” that is, “filial [fil-ee-uh
l]
piety;” piety toward a parent by providing for the needs of
that parent in advanced age. The word is commonly used to
denote piety toward God, but it is also used to denote
proper reverence and respect for a parent. Robinson.
~Barnes NotesLet them learn first to show piety at home - Let these children and nephews provide for their aged or helpless parents or relatives, and not burden the Church with them while they are able to support them. ~Adam Clarke
Let them learn first to show piety at home - which some understand of the widows, who, instead of casting themselves upon the church for a maintenance, or taking upon them the office of a deaconess, to take care of others, should continue in their own families, and bring up their children and nephews in like manner as they have been brought up by their parents, which will be more pleasing and acceptable unto God; but it is better to interpret it of their children; and so the Ethiopic version expresses it, "let the children first learn to do well to their own house", or family. It is the duty of children to take care of their parents in old age, and provide for them, when they cannot for themselves: this is a lesson they ought to learn in the first place, and a duty which they ought principally to observe; they should not suffer them to come to a church for relief, but first take care of them themselves, as long as they are in any capacity to do it; and these should be their first care before any others; so to do is an act of piety, a religious action, a pious one; it is doing according to the will and law of God, and is well pleasing to him: ~John Gill
To show piety at home — filial [fil-ee-uh
l]
piety towards their widowed mother or grandmother, by giving
her sustenance. Literally, “to show piety towards their own
house.” “Piety is applied to the reverential [rev-uh-ren-shuhl]
discharge of filial [fil-ee-uhl]
duties; as the parental relation is the earthly
representation of God our heavenly Father’s relation to us.
“Their own” stands in opposition to the Church, in relation
to which the widow is comparatively a stranger. She has a
claim on her own children, prior to her claim on the Church;
let them fulfil this prior claim which she has on them, by
sustaining her and not burdening the Church. ~Jamieson,
Fausset, BrownLet them learn
The subject is the children and grandchildren. Holtzmann thinks the subject is any widow, used collectively. But the writer is treating of what should be done to the widow, not of what she is to do. The admonition is connected with widows indeed. They, as being utterly bereft, and without natural supporters, are to be cared for by the church; but if they have children or grandchildren, these should assume their maintenance. ~Vincent Word Studies
Conclusions:
1. Widows indeed should be cared for by the church as they are able.
2. Widows with means of support, children, grandchildren and/or other resources are to be supported by these means.
3. All children in every family are to be brought up on biblical principles, which would include the principles of family, family loyalty/unity and children/grandchildren caring for parents and grandparents as they are able.
Note:
I. Teaching of Piety
1. In the times of Jesus, Paul and the early New Testament Church, families were close and there was the one religion that held families and the nation together.
2. The families of today do not necessarily have the loyalty/unity of those earlier days.
3. Whereas much of the teachings of those days was strictly religious, we have other means of teaching these principles without getting religious. This is important in families with members with varied religions and/or resistance to religious trainer. Virtually all family members will want teaching on principles that work. Some, if not many, are learning these principles without even necessarily making a religious connection. Many see Honesty, Service, Excellence, Compassion, and the general subject of the family as stand-alone, common sense/self-evident subjects.
In those families where there is resistance to structured religious or biblical training, the firstfruit can teach Godly principles as stand-alone subjects. I have used this technique and seen it work even with wretched non-believers of the Bible.
II. Resources for Widows and Widows indeed
1. There is currently a legion of resources for widow at the City, County, State and Federal levels.
2. If family members are getting regular training in Godly principles, they should be coming forth to help the widows in the family. At the very least, they should be helping the widow work with the many governmental resources mentioned in item 1 just above in this section.
3. Widows should always go to personal, governmental and family resources before coming to the church, especially when the church does not have the resources needed.
4. Church help should come first from the local church and then the corporate headquarters of the church.
5. Stewardship should excel in both the extended family and the widow in question. Some of this stewardship should be implemented from the earliest of years of the individual. In other words and using Biblical principles, the firstfruit should be thinking of his or her retirement years and/or widowhood decades in advance of the event.
3] And to requite their parents.
And to requite their parents - To repay them, as far as possible, for all their kindness. This debt can never be wholly repaid, but still a child should feel it a matter of sacred obligation to do as much toward it as possible. ~Barnes Notes
And to requite their parents - Let them learn to give benefit for benefit. Your parents supported and nourished you when you were young and helpless; you ought therefore to support them when they are old and destitute. This is called showing piety; and there is doubtless an allusion to the fifth commandment: Honour thy father and thy mother - provide for them in their old age and afflictions; God commands this. ~Adam Clark
And to requite their parents - for all the sorrow, pain, trouble, care, and expenses they have been at in bearing and bringing them forth into the world, in taking care of them in their infancy, in bringing them up, giving them an education, providing food and raiment for them, and settling them in the world; wherefore to neglect them in old age, when incapable of providing for themselves, would be base ingratitude; whereas to take care of them is but a requital of them, or a repaying them for former benefits had of them: ~John Gill
Parents — Greek, (living) “progenitors,” that is, their mother or grandmother, as the case may be. “Let them learn,” implies that abuses of this kind had crept into the Church, widows claiming Church support though they had children or grandchildren able to support them. ~Jamieson, Fausset, Brown
Conclusion:
1. As the parents provided for the children, the children should later do the same for the aged and/or widowed parents.
2. As the parents are providing all this care, they should be teaching their children this entire concept throughout life.
4] For that is good and acceptable before God.
For that is good and acceptable before God - It is a duty everywhere enjoined; compare Matthew 15:5-7; Ephesians 6:1-2. ~Barnes Notes
Quoted verses:
Matthew 15:5-7
5 But ye say, Whosoever shall say to his father or his mother, It is a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me;
6 And honour not his father or his mother, he shall be free. Thus have ye made the commandment of God of none effect by your tradition.
7 Ye hypocrites, well did Esaias prophesy of you, saying,
Ephesians 6:1-2
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
2 Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
For that is good and acceptable before God - it is good in itself, and grateful, and well pleasing in his sight; it is part of the good, and perfect, and acceptable will of God; and which, as other actions done in faith, is acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. ~John Gill
Conclusion:
1. We are talking about purpose or sanctification here. God set this verse and most of this chapter as stated purpose and sanctification on this subject of widows and families and churches. This must be done. We must follow all sanctification.
I will finish with this quote that says it well, I think:
If I had my child to raise over again
I'd build self-esteem first and the house later
I'd finger paint more and point the finger less
I would do less correcting and more connecting
I'd take my eyes off my watch and watch with my eyes
I would care to know less and know to care more
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites
I'd stop playing serious and seriously play
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars
I'd do more hugging and less tugging
I'd see the oak tree in the acorn more often
I would be firm less often and affirm much more
I'd model less about the love of power
And more about the power of love.
back to main page