Survey of the Letters of Paul:  1 Timothy 5:16

 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.

Let us read verses 11-16

11 But the younger widows refuse: for when they have begun to wax wanton against Christ, they will marry;
12 Having damnation, because they have cast off their first faith.
13 And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
15 For some are already turned aside after Satan.
16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.

Here is the Barclay commentary...

THE PERILS OF IDLENESS
1 Timothy 5:11–16

Refuse to enroll the younger women as widows, for when they grow impatient with the restrictions of Christian widowhood, they wish to marry, and so deserve condemnation, because they have broken the pledge of their first faith; and, at the same time, they learn to be and bear children, and run a house and home, and give our opponents no chance of abuse. For, even as things are, some of them have turned aside from the way to follow Satan. If any believing person has widowed relations, let such a person help them, and let not the Church be burdened with the responsibility, so that it may care for those who are genuinely in the position of widows.

A PASSAGE like this reflects the situation in society in which the early Church found itself.

It is not that younger widows are condemned for marrying again. What is condemned is this. A young husband dies; and the widow, in the first bitterness of sorrow and on the impulse of the moment, decides to remain a widow all her life and to dedicate her life to the Church, but later she changes her mind and remarries. That woman is regarded as having taken Christ as her bridegroom. So, by marrying again, she is regarded as breaking her marriage vow to Christ. She would have been better never to have taken the vow.

What complicated this matter very much was the social background of the times. It was next to impossible for a single or a widowed woman to earn her living honestly. There was practically no trade or profession open to her. The result was inevitable; she was almost driven to prostitution in order to live. The Christian woman, therefore, had either to marry or to dedicate her life completely to the service of the Church; there was no half-way house.

In any event, the perils of idleness remain the same in any age. There was the danger of becoming restless: because a woman did not have enough to do, she might become one of those individuals who drift from house to house in an empty social round. It was almost inevitable that such a woman would become a gossip: because she had nothing important to talk about, she would tend to talk scandal, repeating tales idle and to run from house to house. Yes, they can become more than idle; they can become gossips and busybodies, saying things which should not be repeated. It is my wish that the younger widows should marry, from house to house, each time with a little more embellishment and a little more malice. Such a woman ran the risk of becoming a busybody: because she had nothing of her own to hold her attention, she would be very apt to be over interested and over-interfering in the affairs of others.

It was true then, as it is true now, that, as the hymn-writer Isaac Watts had it, ‘Satan finds some mischief still for idle hands to do.’ The full life is always the safe life, and the empty life is always the life in peril.

So, the advice is that these younger women should marry and engage upon the greatest task of all, rearing a family and making a home. Here we have another example of one of the main thoughts of the Pastoral Epistles. They are always concerned with how Christians appear to the outside world. Do they give any opportunity to criticize the Church or reason to admire it? It is always true that ‘the greatest handicap the Church has is the unsatisfactory lives of professing Christians’ and equally true that the greatest argument for Christianity is a genuinely Christian life. ~The Barclay Commentary

Now to the commentaries.

This verse is in four phrases:

1] If any man or woman that believeth have widows.
2] let them relieve them.
3] and let not the church be charged.
4] that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.

1] If any man or woman that believeth have widows

If any man or woman that believeth have widows - Christians are often simply called “believers,” because faith is the leading and most important act of their religion. ~Barnes Notes

If any man or woman that believeth have widows - If any Christian man or woman have poor widows, which are their relatives, let them relieve them - provide them with the necessaries of life, and not burden the Church with their maintenance, that the funds may be spared for the support of those widows who were employed in its service, teaching children, visiting the sick, etc., etc. For the performing of such offices it is very likely that none but widows were employed; and these were chosen, other things being equal, out of the most indigent of the widows, and therefore called by the apostle, here and in 1 Timothy 5:3, αἱς οντως χηραι, widows indeed - widows desolate, without support, and without relatives. See on 1 Timothy 5:10. ~Adam Clarke

If any man or woman that believeth have widows - That is, if any member of a church, whether a brother or a sister, have mothers or grandmothers, or any near relations widows, in mean circumstances, and incapable of taking care of themselves: ~John Gill

If any man or woman that believeth have widows - of his family, however related to him. Most of the oldest manuscripts and versions omit “man or,” and read, “If any woman that believeth.” But the Received text seems preferable. If, however, the weightiest authorities are to prevail, the sense will be: He was speaking of younger widows; He now says, If any believing young widow have widows related to her needing support, let her relieve them, thereby easing the Church of the burden, 1 Timothy 5:3-4 (there it was the children and grandchildren; here it is the young widow, who, in order to avoid the evils of idleness and wantonness, the result of idleness, 1 Timothy 5:11, 1 Timothy 5:13; Ezekiel 16:49, is to be diligent in good works, such as “relieving the afflicted,” 1 Timothy 5:10, thus qualifying herself for being afterwards a widow-presbyteress). ~Jamieson, Fausset, Brown

If any man or woman that believeth have widows - Widowed mothers, or grandmothers, or any other widows whose support would naturally devolve on them. ~Barnes Notes

2] let them relieve them.

Let them relieve them - That is, let them support them. This was an obvious rule of duty; see the notes on 1 Timothy 5:8. Nothing can be more unreasonable than to leave those who are properly dependent on us to be supported by others, when we are able to maintain them ourselves. ~Barnes Notes

Let them relieve them - Let the faithful help their widows at their own expense as much as they can, and do not let the congregation be burdened with these expenses. ~Geneva Bible Translation Notes

let them relieve them - Out of their own substance; which is what the apostle before calls showing piety at home, and requiting their own parents: ~John Gill

Piety:

1] The state or quality of being pious, especially:
a) Religious devotion and reverence to God.
b) Devotion and reverence to parents and family: filial piety.

2] A devout act, thought, or statement.

What does, "devout" mean?

1] Devoted to religion or to the fulfillment of religious obligations.
2] Displaying reverence or piety.
3] Sincere; earnest

Notices Acts 10:

Acts 10:1-2
1 There was a certain man in Caesarea called Cornelius, a centurion of the band called the Italian band,
2 A devout man, and one that feared God with all his house, which gave much alms to the people, and prayed to God alway.

Notice some quotes on being devout:

"The highest art is always the most religious, and the greatest artist is always a devout person." ~Abraham Lincoln

"A man cannot make a pair of shoes rightly unless he do it in a devout manner."

Notice now the commentary on verse 2:
 
A devout man - Pious, or one who maintained the worship of God. See Luke 2:25. Compare Acts 2:5; Acts 8:2.

Quoted verses:
Luke 2:25
And, behold, there was a man in Jerusalem, whose name was Simeon; and the same man was just and devout, waiting for the consolation of Israel: and the Holy Ghost was upon him.

Acts 2:5
And there were dwelling at Jerusalem Jews, devout men, out of every nation under heaven.

Acts 8:2
And devout men carried Stephen to his burial, and made great lamentation over him.

And one that feared God - This is often a designation of piety. See notes on Acts 9:31. It has been supposed by many that the expressions here used denote that Cornelius was a Jew, or was instructed in the Jewish religion, and was a proselyte. But this by no means follows. It is probable that there might have been among the Gentiles a few at least who were fearers of God, and who maintained his worship according to the light which they had. So there may be now persons found in pagan lands who in some unknown way have been taught the evils of idolatry and the necessity of a purer religion, and who may be prepared to receive the gospel. The Sandwich Islands were very much in this state when the American missionaries first visited them. They had thrown away their idols, and seemed to be waiting for the message of mercy and the Word of eternal life, as Cornelius was. A few other instances have been found by missionaries in pagan lands of those who have thus been prepared by a train of providential events, or by the teaching of the Spirit, for the gospel of Christ.

With all his house - With all his family. It is evident here that Cornelius instructed his family, and exerted his influence to train them in the fear of God. True piety will always lead a man to seek the salvation of his family.

Much alms - Large and liberal charity. This is always an effect of piety. See James 1:27; Psalm 41:1.

Quoted verses:
James 1:27
Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

Psalm 41:1
Blessed is he that considereth the poor: the LORD will deliver him in time of trouble.

Prayed to God alway - Constantly; meaning that he was in the regular habit of prayer. Compare Romans 12:12; Luke 18:1; Psalm 119:2; Proverbs 2:2-5. As no particular kind of prayer is mentioned except secret prayer, we are not authorized to affirm that he offered prayer in any other manner. It may be observed, however, that he who prays in secret will usually pray in his family; and as the facially of Cornelius is mentioned as being also under the influence of religion, it is, perhaps, not a forced inference that he observed family worship.

Quoted verses:
Romans 12:12
Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer.

Luke 18:1
And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint;

Psalm 119:2
Blessed are they that keep his testimonies, and that seek him with the whole heart.

Proverbs 2:2-5
2 So that thou incline thine ear unto wisdom, and apply thine heart to understanding;
3 Yea, if thou criest after knowledge, and liftest up thy voice for understanding;
4 If thou seekest her as silver, and searchest for her as for hid treasures;
5 Then shalt thou understand the fear of the LORD, and find the knowledge of God.
 

3] and let not the church be charged.

And let not the church be charged - or burdened with the maintenance of them: ~John Gill

And let not the church be charged - literally, “be burdened” with their support. ~Jamieson, Fausset, Brown

To me, personally, the concept here is of a church that is greater than the headquarters and/or its administration or its local church government.  Every element of the church has duties and responsibilities.  The more the individual members see to their Christian duties; the more they invoke the principles of God, the smoother the church runs.

4] that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.

That it may relieve them that are widows indeed - That it may have the means of supporting those who are truly dependent. To require or expect the Church, therefore, to support those whom we ought ourselves to support, is, in fact, to rob the poor and friendless. In regard to these directions respecting widows 1 Timothy 5:3-16, we may remark in general, as the result of the exposition which has been given:

(1) they were to be poor widows, who had not the means of support themselves.
(2) they were, probably, to be not merely supported, but to be usefully employed in the service of the church, particularly in overseeing the conduct, and imparting instruction to the female members.
(3) they were to be of such age and character that there would be security of stability and correctness of deportment; such that they would not be tempted to leave the situation or to act so as to give occasion of reproach.
(4) it is by no means certain that this was intended to be a permanent arrangement. It grew probably out of the special customs respecting contact between the sexes in the Oriental world, and would undoubtedly be proper now in similar circumstances. But it by no means follows that this arrangement is binding on the churches where the customs of society are different. Yet.
(5) the passage inculcates the general principle that the poor widows of the church are to be assisted when they have no relatives on whom they can naturally depend. No class of people are more helpless than aged widows, and for that class God has always shown a special concern, and his people should do so likewise. ~Barnes Notes

That it may relieve them that are widows indeed - that the church may be in a better capacity, its stock not being expended on others, to supply the wants of those who are really widows; who have neither husbands, nor children, nor any relations, to provide for them; nor anything in the world to support themselves with. ~John Gill

That it may relieve them that are widows indeed - really helpless and friendless. ~Jamieson, Fausset, Brown
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