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SUBJECT:
Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage
Situation:
Person remarries after a spouse dies, but then believes he
married too fast and was actually still in bereavement. He
is asking if he can divorce this person and be free to marry
again. Below is an actual question we received.
QUESTION:
I was married, but my spouse died, leaving me free to marry
again. I met an old acquaintance not long after my wife’s
death and we were soon married. The marriage is not working
out. I do not blame her, but rather feel that I became
captive to my own bereavement and mourning and married this
woman on the rebound due to my loneliness. I see now that I
should have waited a number of years before considering
marriage. At any rate, if I now divorce this woman and
marry again, am I in danger of losing my salvation?
ANSWER:
There are simply no excuses for such plaintive cries "I
married on the rebound," or "we married because of mutual
grief," or "I married because I was lonely." He needs to
WORK at this one. He is married. He vowed before God.
Instead of seeking a way out, he should be studying books
about how to make a wife happy; how to be creative,
innovative, imaginative -- how to spice up his marriage.
Also, he must NEVER COMPARE this one to his first wife. They
are two completely different people. While he can (and
should) speak freely of his first wife when
circumstances warrant, he need not be bring her up to the
second one; making comparisons. He can quietly and privately
treasure the "good times" they had together, but he now
needs to be creating "good times" with his present wife. If
he divorces her, it will be the breaking of a serious vow;
the violation of God's law. Will he "lose salvation?" If
done with such deliberate aforethought; with such obvious
calculation; with him actually able to ask this question --
knowing it is of such importance -- I am afraid the answer
is "very likely." He needs to evaluate short-range physical
and emotional satisfaction with long-range goals, such as
the Kingdom of God and Eternal Life.
This very question seems to me to be self-serving. What of
her? What of her happiness? What of any children involved?
If he devotes himself to MAKING HER HAPPY, he will be amazed
at how happy he will become in return.
Garner Ted Armstrong
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