Portland, Oregon Church  -  Affiliated with the Intercontinental Church of God and the Garner Ted Armstrong Evangelistic Association

SUBJECT:  Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage

Situation:  Person remarries after a spouse dies, but then believes he married too fast and was actually still in bereavement.  He is asking if he can divorce this person and be free to marry again.  Below is an actual question we received.

QUESTION:

I was married, but my spouse died, leaving me free to marry again.  I met an old acquaintance not long after my wife’s death and we were soon married.  The marriage is not working out.  I do not blame her, but rather feel that I became captive to my own bereavement and mourning and married this woman on the rebound due to my loneliness.  I see now that I should have waited a number of years before considering marriage.  At any rate, if I now divorce this woman and marry again, am I in danger of losing my salvation?  

ANSWER:

There are simply no excuses for such plaintive cries "I married on the rebound," or "we married because of mutual grief," or "I married because I was lonely." He needs to WORK at this one. He is married. He vowed before God. Instead of seeking a way out, he should be studying books about how to make a wife happy; how to be creative, innovative, imaginative -- how to spice up his marriage. Also, he must NEVER COMPARE this one to his first wife. They are two completely different people. While he can (and should) speak freely of his first wife when circumstances warrant, he need not be bring her up to the second one; making comparisons. He can quietly and privately treasure the "good times" they had together, but he now needs to be creating "good times" with his present wife. If he divorces her, it will be the breaking of a serious vow; the violation of God's law. Will he "lose salvation?" If done with such deliberate aforethought; with such obvious calculation; with him actually able to ask this question -- knowing it is of such importance -- I am afraid the answer is "very likely." He needs to evaluate short-range physical and emotional satisfaction with long-range goals, such as the Kingdom of God and Eternal Life.

This very question seems to me to be self-serving. What of her? What of her happiness? What of any children involved? If he devotes himself to MAKING HER HAPPY, he will be amazed at how happy he will become in return.

Garner Ted Armstrong

Portland, Oregon Church  -  Affiliated with the Intercontinental Church of God and the Garner Ted Armstrong Evangelistic Association